A long road trip

Recent events remind me of a road trip I had few years ago.

He was in his early 30s in the time, me in my early 20s. He was a person with enormous insight. A friend of the family, he was visiting NZ, from HK.

We got along fine in the first day or two. I used every opportunity to showcase what a beautiful country we have. Being a knowledgeable and opinionated guy, he was also an excellent sounding board on a variety of stuff we cared to talk about. We even peed together beside State Highway One under the starry sky when a toilet was no where in sight.

Then somehow things turned sour. I didn't know why at the time, but all of a sudden I didn't really want to know his opinions anymore. I was content if he would just listen to what I have to say, without giving me his opinions which by this time, had became his way of conversing with me. I would say "The weather is alway sunny in the part of the country." Rather then appreciate the fact that gee, must be nice to live here with weather so good, he would say something like "shame if you live here and doesn't like the outdoors then, there are many things one can do indoors anyway i suppose".

The last two days of the trip was hell. I really didn't want to be alone with him anymore. Benign as his opinions were, I just didn't want to know. I longed to go back to Auckland, to my own little room, without knowing yes, there are in fact many angles to an issue.

A "sweet escape" turned out to be one of the worst trip I ever had. A shame really, as it didn't have to be that way.

I asked myself why.

I later realized he was trying to put a different perspective on things, often the exact opposite view to what I had. This antagonism was refreshing for a while, for it was cognitively stimulating and challenging. After all, things are often not what they seem anyway. We should explore different opinions.

What he did was similar to the famous and insightful HSBC ads. I liked them alot.

The difference, however, was whilst our conversations were intellectual, emotionally I felt like I was being put down and disagreed on all the time. Why can't he just appreciate, for example, that the weather is good in Gisborne?! Man, what's wrong with him?! It was a shame really, as he did not intent to criticize at all. He was, after all, expressing a view, offering another angle to see a fact.

The minute I got home, I told myself that, to be a commentator, in many people's eyes, is the same as being a snob; at least emotionally.

One should be appreciative always, and comment only when specifically asked to. This, I have to work on.